No, I Accuse!

posted by Infra on April 12th, 2009

Not to rehash again or anything, but since I just came across another one of those “there are studies that show that men who watch porn have worse sex” and “men who watch porn are desensitized” articles, let me once again voice one of the obvious-yet-overlooked explanations that can come into play here.

The guys didn’t start having worse sex. They didn’t get desensitized. They just realized that the sex they were having wasn’t that good. Or, let me rephrase that.

They realized that their partners weren’t that good.

That doesn’t mean that they expected to have porn sex (whatever that means). It doesn’t mean that they were confusing fantasy with reality. It just means that they might have realized that their partners… well, were just plain horrible in bed. Or boring, or distant, or mechanical, or whatever. It just means that they might have realized, “Wow, masturbating and fantasizing actually feels better than sex!”

It wouldn’t be surprising. That’s the same realization that women came to some decades ago, isn’t it?

I wonder if one of the reasons why some porn has gotten more aggressive and more extreme is that women started to do some of the things that were portrayed in porn — but the sex still didn’t get any more satisfying. ‘Cause it ain’t all about the technique, you know.

Maybe it’s just that I get annoyed reading that argument over and over again, but I think that this might be an accurate explanation — if an entirely offensive one (because, hey, sometimes that’s the case with the truth).

Maybe porn gets worse, insofar as it does, because a lot of women are, when it comes to sex, pathetic failures. They’re just placing the blame on the guys.

And the guys have come up with their own ways to deal.

Again, isn’t this what happened some decades ago, just the other way around?

Nothing requires that it has to look the same.